Booo Hooo!

I am all down on myself today. Well, not really down on myself, just painfully aware of something. There is a style, a scrapbooking style i want desperately to do, but I just can't get the hang of it. The pages I adore are a paper version of the girl that gets out of bed - throws some clothes - runs her fingers through her hair, and somehow manages to look like she just finished a photo shoot for Vogue. They are perfectly random and chaotic seeming, but still very design orriented and detailed. I want that so bad. It seems no matter how I try my pages still seem so very "put together". Why does this chain still hold me down, still pull on me? I will break it - I will. There will be something that clicks. Until that happens I guess I just have to keep trying.