Thursday, December 21, 2006

Not feeling the Christmas spirit

At freakin all. First a little back story.
My mom was big into Christmas. Loved Christmas. Spent a good part of the year preparing for Christmas. The woman had something like 12 large plastic tubs crammed full of decorations. Her biggest thing was stockings. She would find little things all year long, and fill unbelievably large stocking bags with tiny treasures. One year they were so big she had to use Christmas Tree (garbage) Bags to put them in. They were a big deal. I got a million presents from my mom and dad over the years. I have almost no idea what those gifts were. However, I could tell you just about every stocking. What it was filled with, and what it was - one year she bought us all these kick ass old navy pajamas, tied the feet shut and filled them up. They were magical, and so much more special than the gifts. You knew when you opened it that she had thought about you all year long. She had listened when you passed by a pair of earrings you liked, she knew the color you liked things in, and she knew the kind of candy you liked. Stockings will always be one of my fondest Christmas memories. I will sit at my daughters house on Christmas morning, watching my grandchildren open their stockings, and I will be telling them how their Great Ya-Ya stared the stocking tradition in our family.
This morning my dad informed me that he and his new wife will not be doing stockings. That her family does not do stockings. My heart cracked. What do you say? I mean that is their choice, but I guess I just realized how important all the things my mom did were to him. Which is not very. What that statement did was help me put my head around the fact that there really only are 3 members of my family. We 3 have to do the things we want.
Next year will be different. Very very very different. No trying to accommodate everyone. Just us. That goes for all holidays. We will do thanksgiving, and invite our friends that are far from their family. We will do Christmas, and it will include stockings. (Joey is getting one this year from us, like always, but Chris and I don't usually get each other one - we will next year)
I feel bad, but this just sucked any bit of Christmas spirit I had right out of me.
Miss her.

5 Comments:

Blogger Funky Finds said...

we miss our loved ones so much at the holidays...i'm so sorry you aren't feeling the christmas spirit (i am right there with you). just try to remember what is important about the holiday & enjoy your loved ones. your mom would be proud of you for that! happy holidays blog friend.

December 21, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

:-(

Take care.

December 22, 2006  
Blogger Rachel said...

Just found your blog because the name is so funny! The memories of past stockings you described sound incredible. Good for you for deciding to continue a tradition that made you so happy.

December 23, 2006  
Anonymous Lindsay (Folse) said...

My eyes are welled up with tears. I am so sorry that your mom is not here to do the stockings with you anymore. Email me sometime...

December 30, 2006  
Blogger April said...

I thought I had commented on this already, but apparently I must imagined it.

I'm so sorry you were feeling this way. I can only imagine how hard that must have been on you. But just remember, that her memory will live on in you. I know it sounds cheesy but you know very well that it's the truth. You'll make sure Joey knows about her and Joey will make sure her kids know. I'm sure the stocking tradition will live on in your family for years to come.

And, while your dad may have dropped the idea, because of you and this post, I've decided to start doing this with my family as well. Jacob and Nathan will love this, and I'll make sure I tell them where I got the idea from (once they stop believing in Santa of course!). Your mom sounds like she was an amazing person. I wish I would have had the chance to meet her.

Hope all is well, and that you guys had a great Christmas and New Year.

Can't wait to hear from you.

January 17, 2007  

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