So this may sound crazy and maybe no one will be able to relate. Sometimes I have a crazy moment of clarity about my mortality. Today it was while driving with my hubby and daughter. I don't know what triggered it but suddenly I felt an overwhelming sense of - well i don't know the word for it. I just knew in that second that everything I love could be gone in an instant. I felt panic and I was terrified. I had an urge to grab them both and scream at them to be careful in everything they do, because I need them and love them more than they know. I calmed my inner voice and settled for a gentle pat on both of their legs and an " I love you people". Not enough by any means, but better that scaring them half to death. I don't want them to be troubled by my crazyness. Just had to get that out. Thinking about it - the feelings are probably so strong because my mom has only been gone for 3 years and my grandma died this year. So I have a very fresh sense of loss - and the quickness with which it can happen. I just want to make sure to let them feel how much I love them even more this year.